I did my first grief coach training last April. Over a year ago now. Since then I’ve also had the privilege of going back to assist the training. Each time I’m stuck by how powerful this work is and how much we need it.

Here's what I've learned: our stories are what make us human. And grief can't heal in isolation.

We don’t really know how to be with grief in our society. We generally avoid it, with ourselves and with others. We fear saying the wrong thing or making someone feel bad, so we say and do nothing. We almost “expect” that we’ll just “get over it”.

Grief isn't just about death. Grief can be any kind of loss. The end of a relationship. Aging parents. Losing your job. Or even just grieving the life you thought you’d be living at this age.

Here's a short 3-minute video about grief.

One of the most powerful things in my training is what we practice simply witnessing someone tell their grief story for 5 minutes. Just listened. Let them tell their story. No fixing. No trying to make them feel better. Just being there…with them. And we were ALL surprised by how healing that was.

Could it be that easy?

There’s healing that happens in the telling. In being seen. In knowing that someone can hold space for your pain without trying to take it away. Without trying to fix it. Without making you feel like you're too much with your emotions. Without you having to make them feel better.

Next time someone mentions a loss, let them talk about it. Don’t try to fix it. Just be there with them.

Give them space to tell their story.

You might feel uncomfortable at first. We're not taught how to sit with difficult emotions. You might want to offer advice or try to make them feel better. Notice that urge and gently resist it. Stay quiet.

Why this matters:
When you witness someone's grief without trying to fix it, you're offering them something rare. Permission for it to be ok for them to be exactly where they are.

Want to challenge yourself?
Share your grief story in the comments. Allow us to witness you. I read and reply to every comment.

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With love and gratitude,
Jenn