If you were a fly on the wall in the lunchroom, and your staff was talking about you, what would you want them to be saying?

This is one of the questions we ask inside Launching Leaders, and it's stuck with me since we built it. Here's my honest answer.

I'd want them to say I'm a huge advocate for them, that I always have their back. That I'm kind, but fair, not someone who flip flops on decisions or reacts emotionally, not someone people are scared of (at least most of the time). I want people to feel safe enough to bring me the hard stuff, knowing I'll have their back when they do.

I also don't want them to think I see myself as above them. I'm an imperfect human doing my best, and I want to be someone who can recognize when I've gotten something wrong and actually say so, not to perform humility, but because none of us are above being wrong sometimes, myself included.

And the part I care about most: I don't need to be nice all the time, but I want to always be kind. That means I'm honest. I'll have the hard conversation instead of avoiding it, because I believe in the person on the other side of it. And I want to walk the talk.

Leadership isn't only a formal title. You're leading yourself every day, whether or not you hold a role. Maybe you lead a company. Maybe you're the one your siblings turn to, or the one your community leans on. However it shows up for you, the question underneath is the same.

Who are the leaders in your life that you look up to?
They don't have to be people you know personally. Whoever they are, they usually reflect something back at you, a quality you admire or already have and haven't fully claimed.

What kind of leader do you actually want to be?
Not who you think you should be. Who you want to be, for the people you lead and for yourself.

This week, sit down and actually answer all three questions. Who are the leaders you look up to, and why? What kind of leader do you want to be? And what you'd want to overhear people saying about you in that lunchroom.

Then be honest with yourself. Is that what people would actually say right now? If there's a gap, that's not a failure. It's information about where to focus next.

Want to challenge yourself?
Share one word you'd want people to use to describe you as a leader. I read every one.

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With love and gratitude,
Jenn

P.S. These questions come from our one-day virtual new manager training, Launching Leaders, running this fall. If this kind of reflection resonated, you can check it out with the Alt Leadership Group here: https://www.altleadershipgroup.com/launching-leaders